Forgiveness takes time. This is why!

by Martijn
Forgiveness takes time. This is why!

What you will find in this article

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I’m not sure about you but for me, it took a very long time in my life that I started to understand what forgiveness is and how to apply it in my daily life. Especially in the last few years, I came to a much better understanding of what forgiveness really is and it wasn’t at all what I thought it was.

Why forgiveness takes time

Forgiveness takes time because it requires you to change absolutely every belief you hold of life and of yourself. And understanding this concept and learning how to apply this to your life takes time. But it will definitely be worth it and create an immense sense of inner peace.

Forgiveness of the world

Before you can apply forgiveness that will truly bring you peace, it’s a very good idea to learn about the difference between forgiveness as the world understands it and true forgiveness. Forgiveness as most of the world understands it is quite simple to explain. It is something that you do when you have been hurt in one way or another. By someone else, yourself, or maybe even a situation in life. The thought behind this is that you forgive the other person or the situation or yourself for hurting you. And through that action, you are supposed to be able to find peace with what happened.

But there is one big problem with the understanding of this type of forgiveness. It continues to blame the other person, yourself, or the situation for the hurt and the suffering that it caused you. And that is not really forgiveness. Because you continue to point the blaming finger to something outside of yourself. Forgiveness of the world goes something like this: “You hurt me, therefore you are bad and I am good. And I am the victim, but I am the good person here and that’s why I tell you I forgive you for doing that what hurt me. And by doing this I continue to affirm that you are to blame for my suffering and I still try to put the responsibility of my hurt and suffering and problems on to you, instead of myself.”

This is not true forgiveness. It does not change the situation. These are only words that you put out into the universe, or maybe only in your own thoughts, but they don’t change anything. They just reinforce the fact that you are the victim and you were hurt by someone or something outside of your control.

True forgiveness

True forgiveness says something completely different it goes something like this: “I forgive you for that what I thought you did to me but in reality never really happened. I forgive myself for perceiving the situation incorrectly and for behaving like a victim. You are not to blame for my suffering because we are one in Spirit. We are the same. We come from the same source and continue to be one within that source. We are united as the Spirit that projected this situation that we both are going through to escape from love and to try to preserve our individual identity to feel special and different.

However, now I am aware of this situation I am capable of letting that belief go. And to love you, and to love me, because I know in reality that is the only thing that truly exists. In my mind and in my thoughts now I don’t feel like a victim anymore. And I don’t see you as the culprit of my suffering. And this is what really brings me inner peace. We are the same. I am not better than you, you are not worse than me. We are in this together.”

Forgiveness is instantaneous, learning to forgive takes time

So, when you understand this, you come to see that forgiveness itself does not take time at all. It’s instantaneous. The moment you are capable of perceiving the other one as one with you as Spirit, you don’t even need to forgive because your concept and your perception of the world are already unified. And the act of forgiving is the act of unifying the world and your perception as one. However, you can imagine that coming to this understanding at all times in all situations of your life, takes time. So, this is what takes time. Learning what true forgiveness is and how to apply it in your daily life can take many many years and sometimes even lifetimes.

True forgiveness as a lifestyle

But when you realize true forgiveness is the only thing that can give you total freedom, you will want to learn how to apply it always. Everyone can go through life knowing that it is their perception and only their perception that makes them a victim. On the other hand, almost no one deliberately chooses to live this lifestyle. Because at first, and I mean many many years or even decades, it’s extremely hard and difficult to go through life with the knowledge and assumption that nothing happens outside of yourself and that consequently, you can never be a victim of anything.

It’s much easier to live your life thinking that you cannot control everything. That some things in your life, and especially the bad things in life, were caused by other people and forced upon you. Because that means that you’re not responsible for your own suffering, your own pain, and your own misery in life. Taking responsibility for absolutely everything in your life, the good and the bad, takes a lot of courage. And sometimes it will feel as if you were not able to handle all that responsibility. But what you have to understand is that this is not about what occurs in your life. It’s not about the external world. It’s about how you perceive the external world and what apparently is happening to you that you need to take responsibility for. Because it is your perception of the situation that determines your experience in your mind.

How to truly forgive

So that means that practicing true forgiveness is actually the practice of changing your perception from a dualistic mindset to a non-dualistic mindset. It’s truly is a completely different way of seeing and understanding your entire experience as a human being in this universe.

So how do you actually practically forgive? I will explain that by citing a part of my book in which I explain exactly what I do when I forgive.

The actual act of forgiveness can become easier and more tangible in your mind by taking the subject of your suffering in your mind and then envisioning beyond everything you can see with your physical eyes. Beyond the bodies, beyond the earth, solar system, and galaxies a bright shining circle of light that stretches as far as you can see. The entire circle fills with light, the boundaries disappear, and what is in the light is not limited any longer. The light expands and encloses everything, extending endlessly into eternity never losing its brightness, and with no separation in any place. Within this light, everything is joined as one in perfect union with no possibility to think of anything outside of this light as it is all-encompassing.

It is the true perception of the Son of God whose identity is very familiar to you. It is the vision of you who acknowledges your Father. It is your remembrance of what you are, a ray of light with all the light within itself united in all the light as all the light is united in you. It is your perfect Oneness with God. Be grateful for this opportunity to join with Him and remain in this state of eternal peace, joy, and happiness for as long as you can.

What forgiveness will do for you

I understand that this exercise might seem very esoteric or non-tangible and that’s normal because you still see it with a perception of the tangible world, of the dualistic world. But I can tell you that as long as you continue to perceive over and over again this dualistic world you will continue to suffer. And it is your choice to continue to suffer. My best friend and I are on a very similar path. He is a bit more advanced in his path of understanding and learning and applying forgiveness in his daily life. But I have been doing this very consistently for a few years now as well. And the only thing that I can say is that when I honestly practice forgiveness, and I truly forgive, all suffering disappears at that moment.

And when we first started out this journey both my friend and I had a very hard time. Because the effect of forgiveness did not last very, long maybe sometimes a few seconds, a few thoughts. But now we both have come to a place that very very often we have this peaceful demeanor throughout our days. And despite the turmoil, this crazy world is in right now we are both finding that our inner world is more peaceful than ever.

We have taken responsibility for our own perception of the world and we have worked very very hard to change our perception from this dualistic view of the world to a more true spiritual understanding of the world. And to understand that we are not the body, that we are not our soul, that we are not our identity, but that we are Spirit. And we trusted the process of others who did it before us.

And slowly but surely we are now starting to see the amazing benefits of all that hard work. and it’s so inspiring and motivating to continue because it’s just the start of our journey towards eternal inner peace. But it’s a good start. And the only thing I can do is to encourage all of you to stop pointing a blaming finger at your circumstances, stop behaving like a victim, and take responsibility for how you perceive the world. How you perceive your own suffering. And take control of your inner peace because that’s what forgiveness will give you.

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Find more articles about spirituality here, personal development here, and mental health here.

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