Dating after spiritual awakening (my experience)

by Martijn
Dating after spiritual awakening

What you will find in this article

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I’m sitting here alone on my terrace thinking about my love life after I started my path towards spiritual awakening. And I can’t help but laugh at myself because in the last five years my love life has been like water in the desert, absent.

Of course, dating after spiritual awakening looks very different for everyone. It depends on who you meet and where you are on your path of spiritual awakening. By no means am I an expert in the topic but after having walked the path of true spirituality very consciously and deliberately for almost five years now, I did come to see that there are a few things I’ve seen happening for myself and for others who are walking the same path.

Dating after spiritual awakening

The truth is dating after spiritual awakening changes a lot. These are the changes that stand out most.

  1. Falling in love after spiritual awakening is much harder
  2. Almost everyone is incompatible
  3. Sex stops being a priority
  4. You look for different qualities in your potential partner
  5. You prefer normal people before the new-age spirituality type
  6. You don’t focus on finding someone else to share life with
  7. You have no problem being and staying alone

Falling in love after spiritual awakening is much harder

The first I’ve noticed over the years is that falling in love has become much harder. I don’t think this is entirely related to my spiritual awakening because the world has changed a lot in the last five years.

Social media has destroyed modern civilization, and the attention span of the average human being is less than a minute. Anxiety and depression are at an all-time high, critical thinking has become a crime, and humanity is more egocentric than ever before. And of course, none of these things particularly help to find a life partner.

Also, the fact that my last relationship was a twin flame relationship doesn’t make it easier. Because anyone who pretends to come into my life would need to top that. Which, the more time passes, seems to be very unlikely to happen.

However, even when you don’t take all these things into account, it’s still very obvious that I’ve raised my standards as a result of my spiritual awakening. To be able to fall in love with someone I want that woman to have several characteristics and personality traits that nowadays are incredibly hard to find.

Almost everyone is incompatible

And that’s how I started to notice that my spiritual path made it a lot harder for me to find someone compatible. Because, even though I have this history with my twin flame, I am completely open to meet someone new and falling in love.

This hasn’t always been like that though. The first few years of my spiritual awakening I still didn’t know what was happening. I never really had issues dating in the past. It wasn’t hard for me to meet someone and before that last relationship, I’ve had a few girlfriends.

But in the past five years, I started feeling lost after my spiritual awakening. I realized that dating wasn’t as easy anymore. The profile of the modern woman had changed and clearly, I wasn’t among the type of men women seem to be looking for anymore.

Did I have to settle with someone a little less attractive and less compatible? Or was I going to decide to simply accept the fact that in today’s world the vast majority of the women who I met so far are incompatible?

Sex stops being a priority

Over the years I’ve tried meeting someone new but I never fell in love with someone in all these years and didn’t get to establish any formal relationship with anyone. And now it’s very clear to me I don’t want to settle for less than what I experienced before. It will never be the same, and it doesn’t need to be. But I still remember that feeling of excitement and being in love. And I won’t settle for less.

My priorities are very clear now. And sex is not one of them. Of course, sex is still an important factor within a relationship for me. But it stopped being a driver, it’s not the main motivation to meet someone. Where in the past I recognize the feeling of physical necessity would still motivate me to get to know someone, now sex stopped being one of the top priorities.

I imagine if or when I have a new relationship again, it will become much more of a spiritual experience. An experience of two bodies joining as one, not only in the physical but also in the mind.

You look for different qualities in your potential partner

And to have an experience like that it’s very clear to me it cannot be with anyone. Well, it can, but I don’t want to.

That’s why I’m looking for many different qualities when I meet someone that could be a love interest for me.

I want my future partner to be self-conscious, independent in thinking but not in acting, always willing to improve and question herself before others. I want her to be empathic and to think and act with compassion towards others and herself.

And I want her to have her inner peace as one of her top priorities. As long as we both have inner peace as a priority, there will always be harmony. And we’ll always be able to work things out, whatever the circumstances are.

I realize the qualities you might be looking for in someone after your spiritual awakening might be very different. But I’m pretty sure your priorities have changed quite a bit throughout the years.

You prefer normal people before the new-age spirituality type

This one is probably the one that surprised me most. I thought I would be attracted to dating a spiritual woman. But spirituality for most people is focused on the new-age spirituality and, although I was very much into that for some time, now it usually is a big turn-off for me.

The new-age type of spirituality is totally centered around the individual, self-improvement, and development. There’s nothing wrong with that. But very often people that are in this phase of their spiritual awakening, are guided by their spiritual ego. Which makes it very hard for them to be truly empathic and self-conscious.

Therefore, often I tend to prefer to meet someone normal who is not on a spiritual or religious path but simply is trying to be a good human being.

I want to be able to have a simple conversation without the topic being diverted to the latest spiritual thing they are into or their religious convictions to inadvertently try to convince you of their truth.

On the other hand, of course, I would be more than happy to meet someone with the same beliefs and view on life as I have. So we can have those simple conversations and share our spiritual journey at the same time.

You don’t focus on finding someone to share life with

Something I also stopped doing is focusing on finding someone to share my life with. Before meeting the girl who turned out to be my twin flame I really wanted to find someone to grow old with. Now it’s more something I would still like to happen but I don’t need it anymore.

Inner peace has become my main priority in life. And it doesn’t matter if you’re alone or not, inner peace can only be achieved within.

And besides inner peace, I have a lot of other interests. The priorities and goals in my life have drastically changed. And I’m working every day to increase the quality of my life a little bit. I try to take care of myself, work on my future. But mostly work on eliminating all barriers to who I really am as Spirit.

And if someone else wants to join that ride, and we both are consciously headed in the same direction it will be wonderful to share that journey.

You have no problem being and staying alone

But if that doesn’t happen I know how to be happy and content on my own. And I learned that also when being in a relationship, happiness always comes from the same place. It’s something that must be cultivated from within. And from there it can be shared with others.

But when it appears you are happy because of other people around you this happiness is not sustainable and not real. It will burst sooner than later.

Being alone gives you the opportunity to practice being happy from within. And if you practice it long enough, you might be able to continue to apply it even when you are in a relationship.

For me, I have already accepted I might stay alone for the rest of my life. I understand and accept that this is the consequence of my spiritual awakening. But I also know that if someone new appears I’ll be more prepared than ever before to enjoy it and to use it to continue my spiritual awakening step by step.

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Find more articles about spirituality here.

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