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Today we’re talking about a topic that came up in a coaching session with one of my clients this past week. We’re talking about acceptance.
The more sessions I have with different people from all over the world, the more I feel that acceptance is something greatly overlooked and underrated in therapies and personal development overall. And that’s a shame because from my experience I’ve learned that acceptance is the one thing that will open all doors to your desires, and without it, most of these doors will stay closed forever.
By the end of this episode, you will know exactly why that is and you will want to start working on accepting absolutely everything in your life right now.
Accept What Is, Or… Was
So, what is acceptance really?
Well, there are quite a few definitions when you look it up. But, when it comes to personal development I came up with my own definition that I believe describes quite well what acceptance is.
Acceptance is the act of releasing all resistance to what already happened and surrendering completely to the inevitable.
How beautiful is that?!
In other words, acceptance is surrendering to the present moment. This means you are not tied to the past and that your thoughts, beliefs, feelings, and emotions don’t limit your future because of things that occurred in the past.
Something really important to understand why acceptance is the only way to truly release yourself from your past is that what you currently observe and experience in your life is the result of what happened in the past. So, all you really do is observe your past, all the time.
How does this happen?
Quite simply; within the world we live in, energy creates matter. Thus, your present reality is a representation of past energies. Your thoughts, beliefs, feelings, and emotions all create your energy, so your life as you see and experience it right now is the result of the thoughts, beliefs, feelings, and emotions you had in the past.
The problem is that most people focus on their external circumstances, so they focus most of their attention on the past. This generates more and more of the same thoughts, beliefs, feelings, and emotions that, obviously, keep them stuck in the same external circumstances because they have not changed their energy.
It becomes even worse when you try to change your external world when you have not accepted what you see. When you don’t like something and want to change it at all costs. But without acceptance change is almost impossible.
Acceptance has the immense power to break that cycle and create new thoughts, beliefs, feelings, and emotions. It allows you to look forward, tap into your creativity, and come up with new solutions. And thus, create a different energy that will leave a distinct energetical imprint on your present reality. That really is the only way to change your external environment.
The only way to be fully present in the current moment is to focus your attention within. Release your grip on your external circumstances because if you don’t, you are holding on to your past. Instead, look within, observe your thoughts, and change within what you wish to see differently.
You will see that the change within has to create a change in your external world sooner than later too.
Acceptance and Change
Let me clarify something before we continue. It’s very normal to want to change things in your life. Frequently you encounter people, things, and events in your life that you don’t like and would prefer to change when possible.
Not liking something or someone does not imply you don’t accept it. When you apply acceptance correctly you fully understand that what you see in your life right now cannot be changed directly by manipulating your external circumstances. You know that, to change the things you don’t like, you need to go within and change your thoughts, beliefs, feelings, and emotions first.
Without acceptance, you can still change your external world, but it won’t change the way you perceive your external world. And since the objective of the change is to feel differently, you will never be satisfied with the changes you make in your life as long as you haven’t accepted your current circumstances.
When you change your external world, chances are high that you really haven’t made any change at all. True transformation always comes from within.
No Space For Something New
So, what happens when you don’t find acceptance?
When you realize that without acceptance you’re not releasing your past and continue to firmly anchor your energy in the past, it’s easy to see that you’re not creating space for anything new to come into your life.
Space is something I speak about often. It’s one of the most essential things to have and keep. And I’m speaking about space in your mind, although having physical space is quite nice too. But maybe we’ll speak about that another time.
Acceptance creates space in your mind. Where before your mind was at maximum capacity all the time and didn’t allow you to even consider adding new thoughts, beliefs, feelings, and emotions, now you’ve cleared the past through acceptance all of a sudden you have plenty of room to explore new energies and sensations.
This sparks your inspiration, motivation, and creativity. And transformation and creation now feel natural, opening up endless possibilities for a different future.
How to Accept Anything in Life
Ok, this sounds all pretty amazing, right? But how do you achieve acceptance? It’s not as easy as simply saying you accept it. Because words only go as far as the feeling behind them.
So, the key is to change your feelings about what you want to accept. And you change feelings by changing your thoughts. And, in their turn, thoughts are changed by active observation, the creation of space in your mind, and living by the mantra “observe everything, react to nothing.”
Here are a few things that can help you to achieve that more easily:
- Daily meditation. Meditation is one of the best ways to create space in your mind. So, if it’s not part of your daily habits yet, I highly encourage you to start today.
- Be proactive in thoughts and actions. Whenever something disturbs your inner peace, know that the present moment, in reality, is a reflection of the past. Dwelling on the past creates more of the same. Own your thoughts and think how your future ideal self would think.
- Set a goal. Setting a goal helps you to shift your attention from the past to the future. This makes it easier to understand what it is you need to do to reach that goal. If you don’t know what goal to set, start with small changes in your habits, like meditating daily for 10 minutes. Gradually you’ll start to feel better and will get more clarity on what goals are truly inspirational for you.